Post by Altino on May 25, 2020 21:20:35 GMT -5
Bodhi of Inquery
Nation: Bunny Blue Republic
Known as: "BBR" "Dixie" "Big Bad Redneck"
Completed: April 22, 2020
BODHI:
Asked to answer the following questions as truthfully and completely as you can. 1) What is one thing that you could do right now that would change everything for you? Why are you not doing it? 2) When your life reaches a low point, do you feel like it is normally because you have failed or because others have failed you and lead you into a bad situation? Is knowing who has failed comforting or frustrating? 3) What is your greatest achievement in life? What inspired you to achieve it and what next steps can you take to build on it? 4) You have a dream job, you have a girl that you want things to work out with, you believe in the resilience of humanity, but you don't have a future plan. Why not? Do none of these things play into what would be a future plan? What holds you back? 5) If you are very, truly, sincerely sorry, what do you have to do to make things right? Is there a "works every time" solution? Do you know this from experience or are you just guessing?
RESULT:
1: Honestly? I don't see all that much I could change full stop. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere in a while. The thing I'm waiting on is getting work; get a job, so I can get a truck, maybe move out. Once I get work, then things can actually happen. Until then, I'm kinda just in a holding pattern.
2: When my life has hit lows, when my life has been at it's worst, it's been my own fault. I couldn't hack it. Couldn't make something work out. Ruined a relationship, went too far into something. Knowing why I failed... Well, ain't got nobody to blame but me. It probably isn't great for my mental health but at least the blame/hatred is turned inward so I'm not lashing out. That causes more problems. I've done that a time or two. It just makes things worse.
3: I wouldn't really say I have terribly many achievements. Made Head H at 4-H camp this most recent year, was in leadership there. President of the local 4-H club, that's cool. Honestly probably working as a councilor at 4-H camp. It's just an awesome feeling, helping those kids, shaping the next generation of people to enjoy all of those traditions that I did.
4: I don't really have a plan. I have an end goal, so to speak, but it's pretty vague: House, a truck, maybe hopefully a girl to come home to at the end of the day. Besides, I do have a long-term plan: Find something to do for a living, work until I retire, retire back to the farm. Get on someplace and I'll probably stay there for a while. But then again, that's a very long-term plan, and there's a lot of wiggle room there. The thing holding me back is that honestly, I don't know. I'm just kinda here. Floating around. I recently dropped out of college; that's really the first thing I've done to properly take control of my life and dear lord I'm terrified about it. I'm not a student anymore. That's all I know how to be. It's... tough, to make that jump. It's tougher, because I didn't have any option before to do anything but be student. My mother wouldn't hear of me working a job while my grades were anything less than perfect and I honestly just couldn't make myself give a damn about school beyond passing. I guess that's what is boils down to: I don't know what I'm doing. Guess I'm just kinda here. Enduring. And to be sure, it's not a very tough existence, but it has it's moments. But I'll get through it. One thing's for damn sure: I'm not taking the fast way out.
5: Dear lord I wish I knew. The only way I know to make big things right is not fuck it up in the first place. I guess the big thing, for me, is to just wait. Time heals all wounds; it's not fair to her to expect her to just pick my back up so I need to wait. Healing a relationship takes two people. Otherwise you get a toxic shithole speaking from experience there. So if you're really, truly, sincerely sorry, just put in the time. Wait it out. It'll get better sooner or later. Least I sure hope it will.
Congratulations, BBR! See Path and Bodhi archives here.
Nation: Bunny Blue Republic
Known as: "BBR" "Dixie" "Big Bad Redneck"
Completed: April 22, 2020
BODHI:
Asked to answer the following questions as truthfully and completely as you can. 1) What is one thing that you could do right now that would change everything for you? Why are you not doing it? 2) When your life reaches a low point, do you feel like it is normally because you have failed or because others have failed you and lead you into a bad situation? Is knowing who has failed comforting or frustrating? 3) What is your greatest achievement in life? What inspired you to achieve it and what next steps can you take to build on it? 4) You have a dream job, you have a girl that you want things to work out with, you believe in the resilience of humanity, but you don't have a future plan. Why not? Do none of these things play into what would be a future plan? What holds you back? 5) If you are very, truly, sincerely sorry, what do you have to do to make things right? Is there a "works every time" solution? Do you know this from experience or are you just guessing?
RESULT:
1: Honestly? I don't see all that much I could change full stop. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere in a while. The thing I'm waiting on is getting work; get a job, so I can get a truck, maybe move out. Once I get work, then things can actually happen. Until then, I'm kinda just in a holding pattern.
2: When my life has hit lows, when my life has been at it's worst, it's been my own fault. I couldn't hack it. Couldn't make something work out. Ruined a relationship, went too far into something. Knowing why I failed... Well, ain't got nobody to blame but me. It probably isn't great for my mental health but at least the blame/hatred is turned inward so I'm not lashing out. That causes more problems. I've done that a time or two. It just makes things worse.
3: I wouldn't really say I have terribly many achievements. Made Head H at 4-H camp this most recent year, was in leadership there. President of the local 4-H club, that's cool. Honestly probably working as a councilor at 4-H camp. It's just an awesome feeling, helping those kids, shaping the next generation of people to enjoy all of those traditions that I did.
4: I don't really have a plan. I have an end goal, so to speak, but it's pretty vague: House, a truck, maybe hopefully a girl to come home to at the end of the day. Besides, I do have a long-term plan: Find something to do for a living, work until I retire, retire back to the farm. Get on someplace and I'll probably stay there for a while. But then again, that's a very long-term plan, and there's a lot of wiggle room there. The thing holding me back is that honestly, I don't know. I'm just kinda here. Floating around. I recently dropped out of college; that's really the first thing I've done to properly take control of my life and dear lord I'm terrified about it. I'm not a student anymore. That's all I know how to be. It's... tough, to make that jump. It's tougher, because I didn't have any option before to do anything but be student. My mother wouldn't hear of me working a job while my grades were anything less than perfect and I honestly just couldn't make myself give a damn about school beyond passing. I guess that's what is boils down to: I don't know what I'm doing. Guess I'm just kinda here. Enduring. And to be sure, it's not a very tough existence, but it has it's moments. But I'll get through it. One thing's for damn sure: I'm not taking the fast way out.
5: Dear lord I wish I knew. The only way I know to make big things right is not fuck it up in the first place. I guess the big thing, for me, is to just wait. Time heals all wounds; it's not fair to her to expect her to just pick my back up so I need to wait. Healing a relationship takes two people. Otherwise you get a toxic shithole speaking from experience there. So if you're really, truly, sincerely sorry, just put in the time. Wait it out. It'll get better sooner or later. Least I sure hope it will.
Congratulations, BBR! See Path and Bodhi archives here.